Trust in God

When I was about 19 years old I yelled out to God, "Don't bring any man into my life unless he is the right guy." Now at 27 I'm still single, been on a few dates with "toads", but I've never meet the right guy yet. He took me by my word when I called out to him and now it is my turn to trust in Him. I should be grateful, so much heartbreak I was able to bypass. The only heart break I've had is because I got impatient and dated a few times with guys who I wasn't supposed to be with. 

Now in my walk of Faith, I'm learning to trust in God more. Not just because of the husband thing but with everything in my life. Every breath that I take, every beat of my heart. Since August of 2008 I felt that I'm at a point in my life where I'm entering a battle that will probably be the hardest. I need Trust God the most. In this year I have felt an awakening in my heart and freedom in my head. I don't feel the heavy fog I once did this time last year. I'm more at peace, I have become more in love with God.

Still, there are still questions unanswered. I know I love all Gods children and I want to help make them aware that He loves each and every one of them. Yet sometimes I find it hard to love myself. It is a daily struggle sometimes. I know I have an eating disorder and a lot of sadness still. It is a healing process which will take time. I know I need to trust in God with EVERY aspect in life. Not just some things, and like everybody else, I tend to forget and get caught up with the bad stuff. When is enough, enough? Why do I continue to struggle in some areas?? Will it make me a stronger person in Christ? When will I have my breakthrough? When will I meet a man who loves me the way I am now? What is my calling in life? 

So many questions that I'm asking God. I've gone camping recently and all I did was imagine when can I do this with my own family? Husband, kid(s), dog(s) etc.?

I know I'm a good person and I have a lot of love to give. I just need to give all these questions to God, trust in Him and continue to learn His word and do what I can do now.

P.S. - Why have I chosen to write this where everybody and their mother can see? It scares the crap out of me being so open but I guess maybe sombody out there is in a similar position with their life and can relate.

 ~ Liz